Forgiveness: When to Seek Professional Help
Forgiveness. Why Do I Need to Ask for Forgiveness?
Forgive and forget – how many times have you heard these phrases? Most people would say forgive those who have hurt you and have done you wrong and just let go of the past. It is easy to say but much harder to do.
Forgiving is not an easy task. Letting go of the things that have caused you pain or suffering is not at all easy. Other people can forgive and forget easily but most have a hard time.
But no matter how hard it is, it is important to forgive. Forgiving is healthy and holding grudges will only leave you suffering more. You are on the losing side if you do not forgive. It may do you more harm than good.
Forgiving is one issue, asking for forgiveness is another different aspect of forgiveness.
A person who is sincerely ready to ask for forgiveness has already let go of any negative pride that may have dwelled in his heart for a period of time. Sincerely asking for forgiveness no matter whose fault it is, is very courageous and admirable. Just because it is not your fault does not necessarily mean you should not ask for forgiveness. The other person may not be ready to ask for forgiveness or to forgive so it is your duty to take the initiative and be the one to ask for forgiveness.
So why is it important to ask for forgiveness?
Ask for forgiveness to help you physically.
Holding a grudge or anger has been proven to be unhealthy. It may cause health problems like cancer, hypertension and other cardiovascular diseases.
Ask for forgiveness with an eye toward an emotionally healthy you.
Not only is forgiving good for your physical well-being, it is also helpful in keeping you sane and away from depression. Anger causes depression, anxiety and other negative emotional thoughts and feelings.
Ask for forgiveness for peace of mind.
Being angry at somebody else does not give you peace of mind and will always give you a feeling of uneasiness. Asking for forgiveness to those persons you have hurt or have hurt you will give you a sense of liberation and relief.
Ask for forgiveness for a better you.
The major benefactor of asking for forgiveness is not the person you have asked forgiveness of but it is you. You ask for forgiveness not just because of the other person but because you want to free yourself from anger, guilt and other negative feelings. You are not the one defeated here. You are actually making yourself a winner once you have asked for forgiveness.
Ask for forgiveness to renew a relationship.
Finding people to be friends or partners with in this world is a tough job. It may be difficult to find new people like the ones you have been angry with. Nurturing a relationship is tough and once that relationship is ruined with misunderstandings or quarrels, it is a big waste. Asking for forgiveness can rebuild those broken relationships.
Ask for forgiveness to have a happier life ahead.
Not forgetting the bad things that have happened in the past and keeping anger in your heart against those persons that you have acted negatively on or have hurt you, will not make you a completely happy person. In order to go on fully with life and face new challenges and experiences ahead, a person must let go of past anger. One can never be fully happy and satisfied if something keeps on bothering them like anger and guilt.
Now that you are convinced that asking for forgiveness is not only beneficial to the other person but for you as well, maybe you are asking, okay how do you do it?
Think about what really happened and reflect on the things that have caused you and the other person pain. Now organize your thoughts and think of all the things you want to say to that person and how sorry you are and how you felt about the situation.
Swallow your pride and have the guts to sincerely ask for forgiveness from that person. After that, give that person time to reflect and think about what just happened. That person may or may not be ready to forgive you but what’s important is you already did your part and that is the first step in rebuilding your relationship with each other.
Always remember that forgiving and asking for forgiveness are two of the most important things that we should practice as this will lead to a happier and more peaceful life.
When to Seek Professional Help
Being Too Angry – When to seek professional help
We have had much discussion about anger and how it is a normal feeling that people experience. Being angry at something or someone is not an isolated case, all people get angry.
But if your anger becomes too frequent, has turned into rage and is already negatively affecting many aspects of your life, then it is time to assess the situation because maybe your anger has turned into some serious problem.
If you have tried all the methods shared in this guide and perhaps other tips to control your anger, it might be time to consider the help of professionals in order to turn your life around and live normally again. Having anger management problems does not do the person and the people around him or her any good.
Most people are hesitant to admit to themselves that they have a serious anger management problem that needs to be handled by professionals. At first there is denial and sometimes it is hard for them to accept that they have turned into a person full of rage.
The first step in handling anger issues is to assess yourself and observe what kind of anger management solution you need to have. Most anger management issues can be dealt with using proper information, self control, determination, and the help of family and friends. If your anger has become too much to handle, then it is time to seek professional help.
But what if you aren’t sure if you need the intervention of professionals or not?
Here are some questions to help you assess your situation:
• Do you often have intense arguments between you and your loved ones or friends?
• Do you easily lose control of yourself?
• Do past anger and misunderstandings with other people still haunt you up to now?
• Do you get angry and frustrated when waiting in line?
• Do you get annoyed and call people “dumb” or “stupid” when they don’t do things right, are always clumsy, incompetent, or prone to errors?
• Do you get angry at yourself whenever you do something bad or when you lose control?
• Do you find it hard to forgive people who have hurt you?
• Do you find yourself at night lying on your bed just thinking about the things that have upset or caused you pain during the day?
• Do you get so angry to the point that you have forgotten the details of what had happened like the things you said or have been said to you?
• Do you get frustrated a lot?
• Do you get depressed when things don’t go the way you planned or expected?
• Do you get mad, upset, or frustrated to the point that you experience headaches, stomachaches or become weak?
• Do you use alcohol or drugs when you are angry?
• Do people have a tendency to stay away from you or get scared whenever you are angry?
• Do you say things when you are in a bad temper that you later regret saying?
• Do you have problems in the workplace because of your anger?
• Do your family and friends think that you have serious anger management issues?
• Are your family, social life and other aspects of your life negatively affected due to your rage?
• Do you often get into trouble because of your bad temper that sometimes leads to legal problems?
• Do you have feelings of revenge to those people who have done you wrong?
• Do you hit people or break things within your reach whenever you are angry?
• Do you have thoughts of killing somebody you have become so angry with?
• Do you have thoughts of killing yourself?
If you answered yes to most of these questions, then it is time to seek professional help. Being angry is normal, but being too angry too frequently to the point that it is ruining your life is not at all normal.
If you think that you need help, there are many anger management coaches or counselors that help people with anger management problems. You can ask your doctor or research your local community to find reputable professionals that can help you.
During anger management counseling, patients are taught how to control their temper and handle situations wherein they are about to lose control.
Anger management counseling is not something to be ashamed of. Everybody goes through some difficult times in their lives. What’s important is you recognized the problem and are now going to do something about it.
Live happy and be well!