Learning Assertiveness Skills, And 4 Better Communication Techniques
How to learn assertiveness skills? Being assertive has often been defined as being self-assured and confident.
Most often being assertive has been identified with being strong and in control. Being assertive means being able to express how you feel and at the same time being in control of those feelings.
A person who asserts his rights refers to someone who is so confident he is on the right track that he will do anything and everything to make sure such right is protected.
The characteristic of being assertive can be used to control a person’s emotions, especially his anger.
Anger is a natural emotion but knowing how to express the anger that a person feels takes a lot of practice.
An angry person will usually react in an aggressive manner which means being combative with the object of his anger.
Expressing anger in this manner will only produce a negative effect not only on the object of the anger but more importantly on the person who is expressing his anger.
There is a huge difference between being assertive and being aggressive. A person who has tried expressing his anger in an aggressive manner will tell you how draining it is afterward.
Expressing anger can be tiring physically and emotionally and it can lead to an emotional breakdown. A person who has mastered the art of expressing his anger can be a winner in more ways than one.
Of course, it will always be difficult to think straight when one is angry. But this is the trick and the art of mastering your emotions.
A man should never allow himself to be a victim of his emotions and his primitive desires.
Learning Assertiveness Skills
It may temporarily feel good to lash out at someone in anger but knowing the consequences can help a person control his rage.
An angry person can choose to express his anger and suffer the emotional and physical payoff later on. He can choose to keep his anger to himself and risk the possibility of getting heart problems.
The best way to express anger is to manage your emotions and learn how to communicate what you feel to the other person without getting into a tirade.
Being assertive in expressing anger means being able to tell the object of your anger what you want and what the other party can do to achieve what you want.
Communicating things clearly is always better than getting into a tirade and hurting others and yourself too.
Most often people get angry because they do not like the way things are being done. Sometimes, they do not like the way they are being treated by others.
To make sure you have a solution for your anger, you have to communicate your needs to the other person by being assertive.
Perhaps, the other person is not aware of your needs or is not aware that he is already riling you. You have nothing to lose by being assertive and explaining what you want and your point of view.
Developing assertiveness skills will take time but the more you practice being assertive the nearer you will be to your goal.
Possessing assertiveness skills means being in control of your emotions and being able to express such emotions in a calm manner.
Being calm will ensure that you are able to get your feelings across without necessarily exhibiting the common manifestations of anger like shouting and hitting or throwing things.
Like most life skills, assertiveness skills can be developed over time but once a person gets the hang of it he can already make use of his assertiveness skills to express his anger logically.
Being able to do this is a win-win situation because assertiveness skills will enable a person to express his anger calmly and at the same time, it will enable him to get what he wants.
If you are angry and you feel like striking the object of your anger then do something that can release your anger.
Try releasing pent-up emotions by going for a walk or using any of the other coping mechanisms we have included in this guide.
One thing to remember is that releasing sweat can work miracles in releasing and letting go of stress and anger.
Manage your Anger by Learning to Communicate Better.
For at least once in our lives, we have all felt anger – either at a person, a circumstance, or both.
We all know what it feels like to be so completely infuriated at someone (or something) that we almost reach our boiling point.
Better communication allows you to assert yourself.
You might think that being assertive is the same as being aggressive as we previously discussed.